Why must the desert be so... long?

And big? And dry and empty of trees? These are the questions that plague today's sloth. Maybe someday she'll find some answers. Maybe someday she'll locate an oasis of lush green plants. And maybe someday she'll finally become a contestant on So You Think You Can Dance. Don't laugh... dreams can come true. Happy weekend from all of us here at slothoftheday.

Mmmm. Leaf is delicious. Mrarrafflrar. Leaf.

Just ask today's sloth! She's indulging in a yummy, nutritious sheaf of chlorophyll as we speak! Which of course she isn't. Because she's eating. And will be for the next hour or so. But after that, she'll be more than pleased to converse with you.

Springtime means raintime

And this little slothkin is SO EXCITED about the prevalent moisture that she just can't hide it. She's spent months perfecting her sideways mohawk, and now she's finally ready to show it off! Few and far between are the humans lucky enough to witness such divine majesty, such inspired creativity in its natural habitat. Count yourself forever fortunate, dear readers, and while you're at it, why not do something awesome with *your* hair.

Happiness is an unrestricted shoulder

Today's sloth is feeling so sprightly because he got a great massage earlier today, which has enabled him to return to climbing around on trees as fast as he pleases! Gone are those troubling knots and crunchy bits! He's also memorized the phone number of his favorite therapist, and he'd be happy to pass it on to readers and fellow sloths alike.

Did you lose your baby blanket?

Never fear, because today's sloth has got it right here! And she'll even give it back to you... for a price. Don't be fooled by her sweet-natured appearance; she's tough and drives a hard bargain. Best to bring unmarked cash. And a lot of green leaves.

It's the freakin weekend baby

Today's sloth is gonna have him some fun. Just as soon as he gets to the top of that branch.

Beeeeeaaaaauuuuuutiful slooooooooooooths!

Sing it with us! You know you want to! It's spring and everyone's excited! No one's even listening! Probably! So open up those vocal chords and SIIIIIIIIIING FOOOOOOOR SLOOOOOOOOOTHHHHHSSSSSSSSSSS!! And while you're at it, why don't you appreciate how damn adorable this mama and baby sloth are in their little tree-climbing embrace, eh?