It's hugging sloths week!!

And aren't you glad you dropped in. Cause there is NOTHING cuter than a sloth hugging a cat. With the possible exception of said cat hugging the sloth back. Well, you can't win em all.

Power to the *cough* people

Today's sloth is a little wet and shivery from spending the night at the cold and rainy Occupy Wall Street encampment. Won't you be a dear and bring her some hot ginger tea and Emergen-C? The revolution will not be congested.

Why yes, I would love to shake your hand

For I am the great and famous sloth who resides in a lush green paradise, and you are more than welcome to touch my claws. It will bring you luck for seven generations. Or maybe seven years, depending on how you ration it. Take my message to all of your fellow humans and spread slothy love worldwide.

Juicy red delicious treats for me?

Today's sloth would really like to know if you have hidden any strawberries under this branch.

Who screams for green beans?

Or at least flips, anyway. Today's sloth is so bonkers for vegetables that she'll just roll around on her head whenever the opportunity presents itself. And look, it's even garnished with some beautiful looking mint or spinach or something! A picture is worth a thousand salads.

Oh, to be whisked off into the woods...

... is today's sloth's most fervent dream, and the good news is it looks like it's coming true!! That long-sleeved human will take him farther than he could ever go on his leisurely own. Thank heavens for helping hands.

It's a great day for a little tongue!!

Salute the beautiful autumn weekend with some pink of your own!! If you can't remember how, today's sloth will give you a lesson.

The opposite of performance anxiety

Today's sloth really loves grass-diving, and he's just waiting for you to get your camera out so he can have some photographic evidence of his daring stunts. Come ON already. Isn't that thing supposed to make your life easier? Why's it taking so long to turn it on?!

It's a perfect day for a rainstorm

Because today's sloth isn't anywhere near rain! She's climbing along her favorite fence far away from our silly North American autumn. As for humans, we recommend curling up with a good book and some tea. And maybe some cats, if you have any laying around.

Nutrition is delicious.

So eat your greens! They taste better while you're hanging. Bonus points for not using all of your limbs. Look ma, three hands!!

It takes a lot of practice to dangle this perfectly.

And a lot of suitable thin branches. If this were your backyard, you'd be pretty damn good at it by now too. You'd even be able to smile while swinging there, like today's happy sloth! Although... actually, maybe sloths just smile all the time anyway.

The world is changing!

It's only been a few short weeks, but already the country is so different thanks to a bunch of crazy protesters who've been sleeping in a NYC park for weeks now. Today's sloth is so inspired by these demonstrators he can't help but smile and smile all day. Enjoy the weekend, everyone. May it be full of peaceful assembly and democratic process. Mic check!!

Slow down. Revolution approaching!

This may be a simple sign in Spanish advocating the automobile speed limit... or it may be a sign of the end of days, forecasting the time when the 1 percent* has become ZERO! Either way, today's sloth is lovin' on it, and it doesn't look like he's gonna stop any time soon.

Party on, sloths. Occupy Wall Street solidarity forever!!!

*the overpaid and overrepresented humans of the United States who are ruining things for the rest of us.

 

More hanging! So much hanging!

So many branches, such slow metabolism! How will the sloths ever get to see all of them? We'll just have to send along our fervent prayers that they can find the time and motivation to explore as far as they can imagine. Little slothy minds, dream big!!

Itchy, itchy

Today's sloth got a wicked arm full of poison ivy over the weekend! She's hanging from this branch in an attempt to stop scratching at it. Look how good she's being, with her claws tucked out of harm's way on her shoulder. Maybe next time she won't reach so far into the underbrush for those ripening raspberries.

Apples apples everywhere...

Today's sloth is pretty tired from picking apples all day yesterday on a farm many hours away from where she lives, so she's just going to take a little nap on this here branch. When she wakes up maybe she'll make you a delicious apple crunch.

It's like being someone else for awhile.

Whee! Today's sloth is having so much fun hanging around on his favorite branch pretending to be a monkey. He loves to play dress-up, too... just wait till you see him in heels. Happy Friday from all of us at slothoftheday!!

You cannot have it!!

You cannot! I loves it too much! Don't take it away from me! NO No no nonononononoooo!!

Today's sloth is feeling a little possessive. I'd come back later, if I were you. 

Viva la revolucion!

Today's sloth is so excited about all of the protests and marches happening around the country today in solidarity with NYC's Occupy Wall Street demonstrations. Down with corporate greed! Power to the people! Can't you just feel the electricity in the air? Give her a bandana so she doesn't get pepper-sprayed in her sensitive little eyes.

Beware the stumbling sloth!

Today's sloth drank a wee bit too much last night and fell down his tree. He was just trying to complete his weekly journey out of the branches to relieve himself, but he lost some control of his motor system. That's what happens when all you eat is vegetables and moonshine.

Thank you for your understanding!

Dear readers,

Today's sloth would like to extend the deepest gratitude to you as we took another week off. It's been a very busy year for sloths, and sometimes they need to nap for five days straight. However, we're back again! And we think you'll be pretty pleased with the silly sloths we've got planned for you in the days ahead. Happy Monday from all of us here at slothoftheday!